February 5, 2012

The Return of the Fat Girl

I knew it was bound to happen.

I should've been more prepared.

I let down my guard.

I put down my shield.

And the lion crept in.

I woke up feeling like a whale this morning.

As a matter of fact, when I looked in the mirror, I had these terrible flashbacks of "Free Willy" in my mind. . .

Where was that girl who had been waking up feeling like SuperGirl?

What happened to those feelings of empowerment?

Want to hear the "excuses"?

Randy was out of town.  I had the kids all by myself.  I don't like going to bed without a man in the house.  It was just me and the kids so we should do something exciting--why not go to Kobe's?  H. would love that. . .what's the harm?  I won't eat it all.  I can push the plate back.  Oh well I messed up Friday night.  Tyler won his game. . .may as well celebrate with a CookOut milkshake, right?  He hasn't won many.  I know I have lowfat ice cream at home, but it's just not the same, right?  And who can eat a vanilla milkshake withot fries to dip in it, right? 

Enter Shamu.

Sigh.

The excuses don't count anymore.  Because I know that the excuses are just the enemy trying to discredit my BELIEF that I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM and I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM.

God was faithful and merciful.

I'm still at my eight pounds.

And I'll have to work a little harder this week, but not on my food, on my BELIEF.

Because it's not just about calories anymore. 

When I lose sight of who is in charge of my life, my body, and what goes into it, I lose sight of the goal of returning my body to the temple God created.

And that is what I want to be.

Not a beauty queen.

Not the next runway model.

But, God's temple--healthy.

Conscious of what I put into His sanctuary.

Back off enemy. . .you may have won this battle, but I have won the war!!!

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

Dont get down on yourself! Remember tomorrow is a new day, pick yourself up and try again. This is exactly the same thing that gets me down... i always quit when i mess up... I get discouraged, overwhelmed, and I feel like I have failed. We cant let that happen. Tomorrow is new!
love ya
Princess