August 5, 2012

Ramblings of an Emotional Female




What a totally, unbelievably emotional day.

I just have so many things troubling my heart lately, if I don't soon unload, I am going to burst.

I know that God is in control.  He has it all in His hands.

But I must admit. . .my name is Lynn Mull, and I tend to have control issues.

I want to "fix" things.

I want to erase hurt.

I have a dear friend who is watching her son slowly succomb to cancer--a disease that is cruel at best.  I've spent many hours praying for both of them, thinking of the horror I would feel at having to bury my child.

Then I go to church only to find out that a young man that I baby-sat from the time he was born passed away this morning.  Out of the blue.  And, what's so unbelievable is that his mother and I were JUST discussing him as a child while waiting for service to start.

Yet he was dying. . .

I don't understand God's sense of humor.

I didn't hear much of the message after that announcement.

And while I am still trying to wrap my mind around all of that, I run into a friend in the parking lot on the way out.

She proceeds to share with me what a blessing and an encouragement I have been to her.  I want soooo badly to look around behind me to see who she is talking to.  Me???????  If I'm her source of encouragement, that is sooooo scary!  I know I turned a hundred shades of red.  I don't do compliments well.  I guess it is because growing up, I wasn't used to getting them.

I'm so unworthy yet I must admit, it really felt good to have someone say those things to me.

Secret Encouragers have come to an end.  Sigh.  I have sooooooooooo enjoyed spoiling my "Secret Friend" (I hope she's reading this!!)  I have just about decided to ignore the rules and just keep spoiling her anyway. . .chocolate, books, candy corn, all her faves. . .hmmmm.

And to top off my super-emotional day, MY BOY IS HOME!!!!!  He has been to Camp Sonseeker for three days.  He always has such a great time, but MAN, do I miss him!!!  I just want to cuddle up with both of my babies tonight and shelter them from the world.

Deep breath.


God is in control.

1 comment :

Deidre said...

And, I loved getting spoiled but I'll say AGAIN ... you did too much :)

Thank you!!!!