I'm LOVIN' Bloglovin'!!

Apparently Google Reader has decided to bite the dust.

Google Reader was the format that was used most to view and read blogs.

BUT. . .

If you haven't tried Bloglovin', you are missing out!!

You sign up to follow your favorite blogs (I hope one of them is mine lol), and each day you receive an email with a listing of any blogs that have added updates.  It's crisp, clean, and easy to navigate.

It's super easy!  Just go to www.bloglovin.com to get your account and start browsing blogs.  WARNING:  Blog hopping is addictive, but it is oh, so fun!!  :)

To follow me on Bloglovin, simply click on my new widget at the top of my post that says "Follow on Bloglovin."  Easy peasy.

Have a happy Wednesday!!

Still Depressed. . .But Loving Life!!

So, if you follow my blog posts at all, you will recognize the title pretty quickly.  

As you recall, God led me on a divine appointment with my family doctor, who quickly saw straight through me and informed me that I was suffering from depression.

(I have no idea what made her think that--I guess she's not used to blubbering idiots showing up in her office.  lol)



Okay, so maybe I didn't look THAT bad, but it was pretty close!!

Anyway, with my prescriptions in tow, I set out to make some changes in my life.

Am I still depressed??

You bet.

And I'm going to go out on a limb and say I probably always will be.

But, as long as God gives us chemists to keep my brain functioning properly, I can actually function as a real person.

Here's the update:

Yes, my children are being well fed and bathed!  (Maybe not always wonderful home-cooked meals--if you really know me, you'll understand that--but it's ME feeding them, not their dad!!)

As a matter of fact, I went to the Vacation Bible School family night without complaining and actually STAYED UNTIL DARK without complaining!!  OMGosh, that is HUGE for me!!!  (Don't tell the folks I go to church with--I usually hide stuff like that pretty well)

I took the kids to the "Crackle Bear" for breakfast (Harley's request) by myself (and enjoyed it!!)

We've been hitting the pool often!  I've actually discovered that I can "jog" in the water quite easily.  So, the exercise has helped, too!


I've given up my Diet sodas, my "diet" anythings, and anything that contains any trace of aspartame.  (That was huge and I can tell a big difference in the way I feel!)  I now water my regular sodas down or go for tea--half and half.

And, I've lost 19 pounds to date.

I feel wonderful.  I still get tired.  I still get cranky.

But at least I feel NORMAL.

And I'm loving it!!!

Hi, my name is Lynn Mull and I suffer from Depression.  But I do NOT suffer BECAUSE of it!!

All the Praise be to God!!

And Then There Was One

Am I the only person in the world who HATES funerals?  I mean absolutely DETESTS them???

Especially when it comes to extended family.

And more specifically, my MOM's extended family.

It just brings back wayyyy too many memories.

My Aunt Mae passed away this week.



She was such a neat lady.  I used to hang out at her house and play Legos, walk around the cow pastures to the creek, and EAT.

My favorites were her creamed corn and her homemade dill pickles.  Yumm-O!!!

She was like my mom's very best friend.  They would spend HOURS on the phone with her almost daily (and they lived less than 10 miles apart--just go see her for crying out loud!!)

Aunt Mae is on the left.  "Cottontop" was my mom :)

She's had Alzheimer's disease for nearly 8 years now, and for about 7 of those years, she didn't even know anyone in the family.  Her mom (my grandmother) went through the exact same ordeal, but she lay in a nursing home not knowing anyone or anything for 17 years.  Such a cruel disease and such a horrible way to live.

The neat thing about Aunt Mae, though, is that several years before she got sick (I was actually expecting Tyler, so about 11 years ago), I got a phone call telling me that I had to go to Warlick's church that night for their Sunday service.  

Apparently, Aunt Mae had decided that morning that she just needed to be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that things were right with the Lord, and she was being baptized that night.  What a blessing that was to watch.

She was the last sister in Mom's family to pass on.  There is only the  one baby brother left.  

It can be so frustrating to a not-even-40-year-old that all of my family is gone.  Poof.  Just like that.

I guess that is a definite downside to waiting until you are older to have children.  (I came along when my mom was 40.)  So many of the memories that my brother & sister, aunts & uncles, cousins, etc. have to carry with them, I have no knowledge of.

I still remember some things, though.  Especially the late night homemade ice cream sessions at Grandma Arney's house.  And playing baseball in the front yard.  And trying to convince the cousins to let me play with them (I was younger by a good ten years, so that  didn't go over so well.) and when they agreed, all they did was play hide-n-seek in the dark and scare the daylights out of me!

I try hard not to live with regrets.  I have to ask for God's mercy in that area many, many times.

But it just kills me that my kids aunt and uncle could be their grandparents, and there are only 2 grandmothers (on Randy's side) for them to know.

While I sat at Aunt Mae's funeral, it was like living my mom's all over again.  So I sit there, tears streaming, and blubbering like an idiot, with Tyler looking at me like I just walked off of Star Trek.

He doesn't remember Aunt Mae.  I guess the last time she saw him, he was only about 3 years old.  (I didn't want him to remember her in the state she was in at the nursing home.)  So I guess he was wondering who this person was and why suddenly she meant so much to me.

Just one more reminder to make the most of every day and to tell those you love over and over how much they mean to you.  

Enjoy Heaven, Aunt Mae. . .I will be there to see you soon!

And, just like that, then there was one. . .

The Hangover

If ever I needed just ONE MORE reason to convince my kids NOT to do drugs, I found it this weekend!!

Talk about a H.A.N.G.O.V.E.R.!!!!!

Boy, did I have one.

Guess I'd better back up (I get ahead of myself a LOT on here).

Since my last post, I have held my head high and proudly not quite so reluctantly chosen to take my prescribed meds the way they are supposed to be taken.  They are also supposed to help me lose weight, a wonderful side effect, in my humble opinion.

While starting my meds, I was also introduced to the greatest fat sucker since leeches!!

(go to http://jamiesisk.myitworks.com for more details)

Anyway, after doing my first detox wrap, I was instructed that I could not have ANY aspartame for 48 hours. . .you ARE joking, right????

So, after much discussion with my hubby. . .and a little bit of internet research, I decided it was time. . .

No more diet sodas. . .no more Crystal Light. . .even my sweet tea is now mixed with 1/2 water.

I was feeling soooooo good about myself!

Until the headache hit.

Oh. My.  Goodness.

The headache.
The head ACHE.

Of a lifetime.

THREE days of feeling like I'd been completely hit by a bus!!!!  And THIS is what that junk has been doing to my system????



So anyway, I have now been artificial sweetener (and mostly) caffeine free for four days now.

And, my meds are kicking in.

Today is looking good!!

(Did I mention I've lost 7 pounds and approx. 10 inches from the wraps???)

Life.  Is.  Good.


Prayers are appreciated!!  :)

A Divine Appointment

As I thought today about how much I was willing to share in this post, I spent some time browsing through my past few posts.  

You guys probably saw the signs before I did.

I guess I should start at the beginning.

I've had this crummy cough for W.E.E.K.S. now.  No congestion.  No snot.  Just a cough.

So I decided yesterday it was time to just bite the bullet and head to the doctor.  (Did I mention that I hate strongly dislike doctors??)

Anyway, I had a terrible time trying to get an appointment, as my doctor left town and I am not "established" anywhere.  I finally got in with the assistant who worked with my previous doctor and thought that would be good enough for now. . .I'd find a new doctor later.

The staff was very friendly!  (The staff with the dr. I wanted to see were kind of stand-offish and smart.)

She walked into the room and. . .

. . .I.  Lost.  It.

Literally.

Bawled like a baby.

And had no choice but to face reality.

I told her about my cough.  And the low-grade fevers.  And the exhaustion--oh, the exhaustion.

The mood swings.  The exhaustion (oh, yes, that bears mentioning twice).

I wake up more exhausted than I was when I go to sleep.  I go to work, do what I have to do when I have to do it, drive home, and PRAY that I can make it from the van to the recliner.

Then I wait until bedtime, go to bed, and do it all over again.

In a nutshell, I do not care.

About anything.

Randy.  My kids.  My job.  Church.  Food. . .nothing.

I hit rock bottom.

I told Randy that both he and my kids would be better off without me in the way and that I was moving out.

Fortunately, it was Mother's Day and my family kind of treated me extra-special and talked me out of that before the kids knew what I was thinking.

Anyhow, the dr. spent LOTS of time talking to me.  I explained that I had been on anti-depressants since H. was born, but took myself off of them because I did not like being dependent on a drug.  

Her rationale was exactly what I needed.

I'm not crazy.

I'm not mental.

(for those of you who truly know me, stop laughing and stay with me here)

I have a chemical imbalance.

Just like someone with diabetes.  Or high blood pressure.  Things in my body, for whatever reason, aren't producing chemicals the way they used to.

I can live with that.

I suffer from a condition called Depression.

It is a real disease, and it has real side effects.  

It is crippling.  To the point I could care less if my kids have supper or get a bath before going to bed.

I left her office feeling better than I have in over a year.  

On my way to have my blood drawn for routine tests, in another part of the office, I began to wince again.

(Have I mentioned I faint with needles?)

Would you believe I didn't even know the girl had poked me?????  I was STUNNED.

But here's the best part.

I look up to get my paper for the front desk, and you will not believe what I saw. . .

A Bible.

God's holy word, with worn pages and what appeared to be years of use.

I knew, absolutely knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was meant to be in that office with that doctor for such a time as this.

You want to know what I did tonight?  I bought pizza for the kids for dinner (yes, I slacked just one more time) and then I took BOTH kids to Wal-Mart.  I wouldn't have even considered doing that for the past several weeks.

Am I cured?

Nah.

Probably never will be.

But admitting the problem is half the battle.

And knowing that I am NOT mental and that there IS help out there should I choose to accept it gives me hope.

But more than anything, there is NO doubt that God has had His divine hand on me the entire way. . .even when I deserted Him, He refused to forsake me.

God is good.

If Ever I Needed This Verse. . .

If anyone would've ever told me that having a parent go through a major surgery would have this kind of an effect on my family and me, I would've laughed in their face.

I cannot begin to explain the stress.

The weariness.

The sheer exhaustion of it all.

I go to bed worn down and tired.  I wake up. . .worn down and tired.

There aren't enough hours in the day for extra visits, running errands with kids that normally I don't have to do, extra laundry, the additional "dog" who doesn't realize she is a dog. . .I guess I'm whining, huh?

I try to keep this verse in the back of my mind at all times and decided this was the one that I need to truly commit to memory for my SSMT verse.

Prayers are always welcomed and appreciated, though!!

Come unto Me,

all ye that labour and are heavy laden,

and I will give you rest.

~~Matthew 11:28

SSMT Verse #6

Love not the world,

neither the things that are in the world.

If any man love the world,

the love of the Father is not in him.

1 John 2:15







Yeah, It's Been That Kind of a Week

I was very intentional about what verse I chose for SSMT #5.  I am in a period right now where I. Am. Exhausted.

Mentally drained.



Spiritually dry.



Physically worn down.


Yeah, kind of like this:

Apparently, we've all been kind of wiped out lately.

But, God's word reminds me that

Which is why I've chosen Isaiah 40:31 for my first verse to memorize in March.

Yeah, everything's gonna be all right. :D

Thoughts for My Tyler

My Sweet Boy. . .

My head and heart are overwhelmed with emotion tonight as I know you are heading into the unknown tomorrow morning.

I know that, even though you have shown no resistance to change, you are nervous, hesitant, maybe even a little angry that your dad and I have chosen to move you to a new school, with new friends, new surroundings, and a new teacher.

Son, one day, hopefully, you will have children of your own.  You will want what is best for them.  You will hurt when they hurt, try to teach them right from wrong (and cry because, yes, it really does hurt us more than it hurts you), and make tough decisions.

As you go through life, no matter your age or your circumstance, don't ever make those same decisions lightly.  Talk with God.  Read His word.  Pray.  Then pray some more. 

Make sure that the Lord tells you unconditionally what He wants for you.  When you follow Him and His desires for you, you will find this to be absolute truth:

I must admit. . .I am excited, almost giddy, with excitement that you will be with me during the day.  That I can check in on you and see your smiling face throughout the day.  That I know what is expected of you and that I know that your teacher is a strong and Godly woman (as are the other teachers on her team!)

I am nervous about you heading into the unknown.  I am nauseous with worry about you making new friends (especially the kind of friends that God would want for you).

But, I have given all of that to Him.  I trust Him completely.  I have complete peace about his move, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that your dad and I have made the right decision.

I love you, buddy. . . .go get 'em tomorrow!!  And please, never, ever forget:

SSMT Verse #3

Yes, This Sums Things Up Nicely

February's Blessings

Okay, so. . .my day of silence on my last post slipped into a week. . .where did the time go this weekend?? 

Oh, yeah. . .basketball tournaments, a great Sunday School lesson on sharing, a funeral that was better than many church services, and several episodes of F*ll House to appease the little one. . . whew!!

(Oh, and have I mentioned that I got a new refrigerator this weekend!!!???  Woot!!  Woot!!)

Okay, still counting my blessings~~~

February 6th:

3 gifts found outside

~~Tyler practicing his basketball skills, shooting hoops in the backyard

~~sunshine!!

~~a wonderful recess time to share and reflect with my teammates

February 7th:

a gift at 11:30am~a nap with my Harley-bug (we had to stay home because she was sick with the stomach yuckies)

a gift at 2:30pm~a chance to do laundry during the middle of the day instead of having to wait until what feels like midnight, or even worse, the weekend

a gift at 6:30pm~more loving time with my Harley-bug and Tippy while the boys were off to basketball practice

February 8th:

a gift broken~my heart at some of the situations my son is dealing with. . .oh how painful growing up can be sometimes!

a gift fixed~my new microwave installed and ready to use!!

a gift thrifted~my refund check for the kids' dental checkups a few weeks ago arrived in the mail today--whoopee!!

February 9th:

3 surprise gifts--unexpected grace!!

~~my teammate treating me to dinner before the Valentine's dance on Friday night

~~Harley-bug being in a GREAT mood and having her BEST listening ears on at Tyler's first game
~~going to buy M&M's for my Sunday School lesson this week and discovering they were on SALE. . .oh, yeah, baby!

February 10th:

3 times I heard laughter today

~~my sweet Sunday School babies. . .I do love them so!

~~during Mr. Jay's funeral. . .so wonderful to be able to show joy during a time of sorrow

~~at last night's drama practice. . .everyone seemed genuinely happy to be there and ready to practice

February 11th:

3 gifts in working

~~wonderful colleagues

~~dedicated prayer partners

~~fifteen chatty, but smiling, kiddos that make me laugh always!

Have you been blessed today???

Day of Silence

Today I am taking a Blogger's Day of Silence.

I do this in honor of my sweet friend, A, who started her chemotherapy treatments today.

A, my love and prayers are with you.

Focus on Him in February

February 1st:

3 gifts red:

~~seeing the sea of "red" wandering our hallways in school in recognition of National Heart Day

~~bowling shoes!!  Our principal took us bowling after school today as a faculty treat. . .We had a blast!!!



~~ big red letters at H.H. Gr*gg. . .a sign that the Mulls are getting a new refrigerator--something that has been nearly 18 years in the waiting!!  I CAN'T WAIT!!!!


February 2nd: 

3 gifts on paper:

~~remember that new refrigerator I mentioned?  Yeah, I think it bears repeating!

photo from designerappliances.com

~~coloring with my baby girl. . .she is growing up wayyyy too fast

~~my new scripture that I am working on memorizing

February 3rd:

3 gifts found in writing:

~~this word on the whiteboard in my Sunday School class

Today

   along with a reminder that we need to focus on what we are doing for Him TODAY rather than wallow in yesterday or worry about tomorrow.  What a blessing I needed to hear.

~~an announcement in our church bulletin that it's time for Easter Drama practice to begin. . .it is amazing to watch God work through our drama. . .

~~many of my Facebook posts proclaiming love for Christ and sharing blessings shared in their lives. . .so uplifting

February 4th:

3 gifts found when bent down:

~~new shoes!  Being on my feet most of the day can be torture, so I finally invested in a pair of D*nskos.  My feet are thanking me already!

~~my case of Diet P*psi hidden under my desk : )  I keep them just in case of a caffeine "emergency."  Sshhh.

~~two of my favorite people playing L*gos

February 5th:

~~a gift stitched:  my warm and cozy blanket that I sewed by hand. . .yes, you read that correctly, I made it by hand and during the winter time, I am soooo blessed by it.  (I will try to post a picture of it in the very near future)

~~Tyler got a brand new suit and he is walking on air!!  He is so much like his daddy--he loves dressing up and looking sharp.  He wasn't too happy about Mom making him strike a pose, though.  I just kept reminding him that every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed man!

~~a gift hammered:  my hubby pounding on the cabinets to work on installing my new over-the-range microwave (I am sooooo LOVING this new kitchen makeover!)

SSMT Verse #3

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;


photo borrowed from wikipedia.com

but of power,

photo borrowed from powerinchrist.org

and of love,

and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

I'll give you a few days to let that sink in.  Happy Friday!

January's Blessings--the Finale

I seriously cannot believe that January is already gone.  But, wow, how God has abundantly blessed me in 2013!!  He is so very good.

January 29th:

a song heard~~so many songs that I hear touch my heart, but none so much as those I hear my Harley-bug belting out to the Lord. . .tonight's chosen favorite was "Shouting Time" along with a round of "Yes, Lord, Yes."  I hope she never loses her passion for the Lord

a soft word~~a new student came into my class today, escorted by her mother whose English was quite broken. . .before leaving her daughter behind, the mother abruptly turns, grabs me into a huge bear hug (yes, in front of my kids) and whispers in my ear, "I love you for taking care of my daughter."  Wow.  What a huge burden I carry watching over 15 precious babies each and every day.  I love them as if they were my very own.

light seen~~RECESS!!!  Our days lately have been sooo dreary and cold and nasty that recess is more of a blessing than you would know!

January 30th:

3 old things seen new~~

~~my lesson plans. . .I've kinda been in a rut lately.  I started planning next week with an excitement I haven't had in a while, and I'm glad it's back!!

~~my Bible verse that I have chosen to memorize for the 2nd part of January. . .it's amazing how something that you hear over and over can suddenly have a whole new meaning and an entirely new freshness to it when you seem to need it most.

~~God's grace. . .in many ways that I cannot discuss here, but in ways that I can SEE that He is showing up BIG.  It is a wonderful thing to experience!

January 31st:

a gift on paper~~one of our third graders went into another teacher's classroom and asked where a little girl sat. . .he walked over to her desk, put something on it, and left. . .when the teacher checked, it was a snowflake he had drawn with the words "Be Mine" written on it. . .so sweet!

in a person~~my sweet hubby. . .being trapped in all the nasty weather has kind of put us on edge, but we sat down to watch "Duck Dynasty" and plan our family vacation together last night. . .Good stuff.

in a picture~~there are two pictures that have come along this week that I just keep going back to.  I will share them both, as they bless me over and over, not just today.

I can only imagine what God has in store for February!

Ready to Head Out for the Day

You know, sometimes it is just best to let pictures speak for themselves.

Happy Tuesday!

January Blessings

January 23rd:

3 gifts found in Christ:

~~grace new each and every morning

~~my salvation

~~His word and His promises that always provide me comfort



January 24th:

3 things blue:

~~the eyes of a dear friend who took time to let me unload today. . .I thank
    God every day for putting our lives on the same track. . .

~~feeling blue today after something pretty big went down with one of my      
    kids. . .just another reason to get down on my knees and rebuke the enemy

~~my most comfy nightgown. . .which, after today, I was more than happy to
   get into and snuggle down for a long winter's nap

January 25th:

a grace borrowed~a ride home from school for Tyler since we were dismissed
   early & I wasn't able to come pick him up on time

a grace found~an extra day to spend time hanging out with the kiddos.
    We "found" the time when an ice "storm" decided to send us home from  
    school early!  :)

a grace inherited~my love for Jesus from watching my dad's parents --  my
   PawPaw was a deacon in the church and both he and my MawMaw

January 26th:

a gift before dawn~turning over to find my sweet Tippy-girl snuggled around
   my neck--I love that dog!!

a gift at noon~seeing the sunshine come out so that all that nasty ice would
   disappear

a gift after dark~finding a "Duck Dynasty" marathon. . .happy, happy, happy!

January 27th:

3 gifts in the kitchen

(okay, so anyone that knows me, really knows me, STOP LAUGHING!!!!)

The kitchen is NOT where I need to spend my time, especially if I want my family to live and I do not want my house to burn down.

~~a beautiful pink birthday cake that my kiddos (with a little help) made me for
   my birthday

~~the huge stack of pancakes my hubby whipped up after church. . .better
   than IH*P, I tell ya!

~~the dinner table, where we share laughs, day's events, troubles, and just
   time as a family


January 28th:

3 graces found in friends

~~daily laughter, smiles, and encouragement--you are a true blessing, Chelsea!

~~daily words of encouragement and frequent doses of laughter from my
   friend Deidre over at www.raisingfutureesthers.com~~ I don't think she has
   any idea what a blessing she is to others.  Sometimes I read her blog
   twice--just to make me smile!!

~~my first ever birthday gift from a student. . .and he is such a treasure!! 
   His entire family has been a blessing to me for the past two years.  Feeling
   loved!  (and in case you are wondering, it is a Carolina blue license plate
   that says #1 NC Fan!!)

 Have you been blessed today?

Enemy, BACK OFF!!

I have to remind myself that I need to be very careful within the confines of this post, for several reasons:

1)  I would never want to hurt a member of my family, whether it be intentional or unintentional;

and

2)  I do NOT want to give the enemy any credit for any thing--he is undeserving, underhanded, and. . .well, you get the picture.

I made my pledge to myself and to God that this year I was going to focus on being more

to Him, and recognizing how faithful he is, has been, and always will be to me.

I have been able to accomplish that feat in a couple of ways:

   1)  keeping up with my blog--it helps me to think more of Him and to count my blessings

   2)  memorizing scripture--something I've never really done intentionally before

   3)  prayer time--going up rather than being forgotten

Yet, with everything good, there is an equal and vicious not-so-good.

He strikes our good intentions, thrives on making us look like a failure, and uses the areas where our faithfulness should be obvious to make us look as if we haven't accomplished a thing.

I haven't been to church in what seems like forever. 

It isn't because I haven't wanted to be there--I love hearing my pastors speak. . .the singing is always a blessing. . .and there are several people there that just having them in my presence gives me JOY because I know they are cheering me on (love you, Piper!).

Call it coincidence or call it enemy attacks. . .

Children have gotten sick.

I've been sick.

Family situations have come up that had to be dealt with--not simple issues, mind you, but conversations that could not be avoided and that much prayer over led us to sit as a family to work things out. . .and by the time everyone had dried their tears and were ready to move on, church had started.

It just seems as if it has been something all the time. . .

Some people would argue that you can love Him and follow Him without ever setting foot in a church.

Maybe.

Other folks would argue that if you really did love Him as you proclaim then nothing would keep you from His house.

Maybe.

I want to be there.  I need to be there.  I want to be intentionally

to Him.

And I know that others may (or may not) be whispering. . .or wondering. . .or questioning. . .

Where I've been.

What my loyalty really is.

Why I have backslidden so.

But I have come to learn that what really matters most in my life is what GOD knows, what GOD thinks, how my relationship with GOD is affected.

Not what everyone else thinks.  Or says.  Or even cares for that matter.

And with that, I am going to start my day with my head held high, my eyes on Him, and a

heart.