February 23, 2012

I Am STILL God's Girl!

I think you guys kind of figured out from my last post that I am going through a really difficult time right now.

There are lot of reasons (of course, when it rains, it pours, doesn't it??)

H. has been soooo difficult the past few weeks.  I think we have moved out of the Terrible Two's and into the Tormenting Three's.  I have to continually remind myself that 1) she is little, b) I am out of patience, and 3) I have to keep my other issues out of her way.

But that's tough.

Then, there's Randy.  He is having such a hard time with his job.  I tell him often to leave work at work, but I don't really have any room to talk (I'll get to that later). 

He comes home so tired and so mentally frustrated. . .it's just been hard to watch him have to deal with all of that.  Plus, he broke a tooth in half (welcome to the middle ages where we now get crowns on our teeth and not our head) and something is wrong with his eye (thought it was pinkeye, but. . .uh. . .nope). 

Get one credit card paid off, introduce another thousand in doctor bills.  One step forward, two steps back.  Yikes!!

Right now, Tyler is the only normal part of the family.  Hmmm. . .Scary!

And me, well. . .

I want to be really careful to not enter into a pity party here.  I've been having enough of those lately.

But, these last few weeks have been beyond tough for me. 

For the obvious reasons listed above, add a terrible cold a while back, and then there are issues on my job that have me down-right flabbergasted.

I love my friend Piper.  (Be sure when you see her to tell her how beautiful she is--she was a little nervous about sending me her picture!!)

I've heard her say many times, "Why didn't I learn that lesson the first time?  What's it going to take to get through my head??"

Piper, I'm right there with ya, baby!!

You simply cannot trust people anymore.

It is a very sad statement of truth.  People have their own agendas, they are looking out for #1, and you simply have to remain guarded in EVERYTHING that you say and do.

I won't go into details here, because that is what the enemy would want, I'm sure, but I have recently been accused of not doing my job well for reasons that are absolutely ludicrous.

As a matter of fact, the things I am being accused of are actually the reasons that I truly believe God put me in the place that I am, serving the kids that I serve. 

Apparently God forgot to mention that to those people.

Anyway, while struggling through all of these things and wondering where things have gone so terribly wrong with a few people that are presenting me such challenges, I have the following things hit me between the eyes:

Bible Study:  Beth Moore's Believing God, page 96  "Perhaps you have also felt pain when someone important to you didn't give you a blessing in the area where you feel most called to serve God. . .We can deeply desire the blessing of mentors or others we respect and love in ministry."

Hmmm.  Coincidence.

My virutual calendar on my desk:  "We can find ourselves in the middle of a situation that affects us profoundly but is not of our creation at all.  If you try to run from the situation, you may be overlooking the fact that the Lord has placed you in the middle of that tough place for a reason.  And if you will begin to pray, you can become the instrument by which the climate of that setting will be changed."        ~~Jack Hayford

This is not funny, Lord.

Wednesday night service, Preacher Dale's sermon:  1 Peter 1: 6-7  Remember God's purpose for tribulation~~it is a time to separate the good from the bad;  He does this simply for our own good & for His glory. . .God allows trials that test our faith, but also that will toughen our faith.  God's grace will always be sufficient to get us through the trials.

**You will never be closer to God than you will be in the midst of a trial**

"The Refiner is never far from the furnace when His gold is in the fire."  --Charles Spurgeon

(ohhhh how I love this picture!!)

Okay.  Okay.  I give up.  I get it.

Thank you Lord, for putting me through trials that bring me closer to you.  Thank you for sending me constant, undeniable signs from you that you are trying to do a work in me, not destroy me.  Thank you, Lord, for the peace that surpasses anything that anyone on this earth can say or do to me.

Oh yeah, and Thank you, Lord, for taking away two more pounds!!

Keep praying. . .I'm in the fire, but I'm not gonna be burned!!


Anonymous said...

I wish that I could honestly tell you that the fire gets put out, but my friend it does not. God uses every situation for our good and it does hurt. I have been through more this past year than I can ever remember and it has been with people I thought were friends or friend, but I tell you this you do learn valuable lessons when you go through these times. My Mother always told me "Don't put your Faith in man, Prissy, because they will let you down. How true that statement is. I am praying for you friend and I love you bunches. Hang in there, remember he breaks us, molds us and then he fills us up again. This life is what we make of it, but unfortunately there are those who do not appreciate good friends and they will use you to you feel all used up. But that is ok. God has big plans for you missy. Just hang in there.

Piper said...

Girl!! I was more than nervous. Just yesterday you text me and said you were going to stop talking to me!! I thought you needed something for target practice! You are too kind!!!
I do not know all of what you are going through but OUR HEAVENLY FATHER DOES!! He is at our right hand....just imagine every time you feel you have been attacked, GOD is right there seeing it all!! More than we will ever see THANKS TO HIM!!! I am praying for you and I ask you do the same for me!! Love ya lots!!

Anonymous said...

Love you sweet friend!! Know Im praying for ya!!! and I love love love my bracelet! You are a strong woman dont let all of these principalities get to ya!!!